Self-Defined "Catch"

[kybearfuzz]

I saw this in a friend's post and had to add it here. My buddy said it made him happy that he's no longer single after hearing this one. It's work-safe language, but I can't imagine anyone calling this guy back. There are so many lines in his messages, so many red flags. I encourage you to pick out your favorite and add commentary! :)

Comments

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

It so unintentionally funny, you almost don't know where to begin:

"I'm completely single.." -- is there such a thing as partially single?

"..very intelligent.." -- look at the big words he knows.

"I'm great in bed,..." -- according to his right hand and the jealous left...

"I make great money..." -- I'll be promoted to assistant box boy any day now...

"I'm a complete catch..." -- according to his mother...

"I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him..." -- Can you imagine what the other guys are like?

"...now I understand if you have other issues..I don't know like you were abused in childhood, maybe your mother has cancer and you're going to chemo, or maybe you're a person who has anxiety disorder..." -- because these are the kinds of things men look for in a potential girlfriend. If he wonders about these things, does he really want to date her?