Whine and Cheese

I don't have a set date for the anniversary of my coming out. As I have posted before, I came out to myself when I turned 30 years old and started the process of coming out to others very soon after. I have never regretted it for a moment.


Yes, I have this many colors of these shirts...

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a co-worker about visiting family for the holidays. I don't recall exactly how, but the discussion came around to him asking me if my parents ever tried to "correct" any obvious gay traits (OGTs) that they may have seen in me.

Being non-athletic and a tad histrionic, I was often labeled as a sissy by other kids, including cousins and even siblings. I know my dad often shut me down whenever things got a bit over the top. I remember that he bought me and my siblings glossy tee-shirts, the kind you saw in the 1970s where a thick, photographic transfer was on the front. My sister had something girly, with a horse on it or a kitten (I think). My brother had the "General Lee" car from "The Dukes of Hazzard." Mine was "Daisy Duke" from the same show, played by Barbara Bach, sitting seductively on her jeep. I tried to find a photo of it online and I couldn't. While I would enjoy the shirt for its kitschy nature now, at the time I was unimpressed with it. Looking back, I see it for what it was, something with a hot girl on the front that I could be seen in by others.

When we would watch the show, there was a scene in the opening credits with Barbara Bach in a red bikini. If I hooted and hollered at it, my dad would laugh proudly. It was all for his benefit and in a house full of kids, I got dad's attention for a few seconds, so it became a weekly event.

My dad signed me and the twin up for football in 3rd grade without asking, that I recall. If he did, it was probably phrased "Do you guys want to go play football? It'll be fun!" without telling us exactly what was involved. I just remember being taken to a locker room one day and fitted with ill-fitting pads and pants, saddled with a helmet too small, and then dragged to a field for my first practice. It wasn't fun. I hated it. When I quit after two weeks, my dad was disappointed in me, giving me dirty stares and not speaking to me for a month after. At 8 years old, that was rough. Again, I'm sure it was done to try to butch me up, but luckily my mom said I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to.

On a side note, my sister took this same approach with her kid that Mom did. If my nephew didn't enjoy sports, he didn't have to play them. I often wonder if she doesn't remember my horrible foray into football as part of her decision-making process.

My folks always said I was the quiet child of their brood. The reason for that was that after being shut down so much for any dramatic behavior, I found being quiet got me less correction. Once my siblings and I hit our teen years, Mom and Dad had to give a lot more attention to my more rebellious twin and sis than me, so I was often left to do whatever I wanted.

Today, there is the movement for gender neutrality, no pushing boys toward boy-things or girls toward girl-things. Some (mostly conservative) folks hate it because it fights the comfortable norm they grew up with, while others love their kids no matter what and don't believe it's necessary to push them toward things they may not want.

So did my folks try to correct my behavior, yeah, but mostly my dad. I've heard and read horror stories of others' experience, so mine pale in comparison.

I've posted on here before that I was thinking of re-purposing my dining room. I bought my dining room set, a solid wood table with four chairs, back in 1998. In the 20 years I've owned it, I believe I have actually eaten at it five times. If I had a family, it probably would be different, but it seems like a waste of functional space for a single person. So I asked my sister if my nephew, who is job hunting and probably moving into his own place soon, would like to have it. If not, I'd already scoped out a charity to donate it to.

My sister and brother-in-law came to town yesterday to stay overnight and said my nephew wanted the set, so they left with it today. I was not thinking that it would be gone so soon, but I thought now was as good a time as any. I spent over three hours reconfiguring the house after they left. My idea was to take my drafting table from my home office and moving it to the dining room, then moving an adjustable height desk I bought this past week to my office.


Dining Room Before (sans table/chairs)


Home Office Before

As you can see, my drafting table was surrounded by comic book boxes, so it was almost non-functional, and access the comic books beneath it was difficult. After much cursing, fumbling, and bruising, here is the new configuration.


Dining Room After


Home Office After
The plan for the dining room will be to buy some stools to put around it, which can be put beneath it when not in use. There is also extra space for a possible side chair next to the window. And yeah, I need to update the art in the room, I think, but baby steps here. I have some new photos I want to blow up and put there.

As for the home office, it really opened up the room. The comic book boxes are a bit unsightly, but access to them is much better. And the adjustable-height desk was pricey, but it can be wheeled away from the comic boxes and lowered to be used for work. I plan to do a big purge of the comics for duplicates. Having a table that can hold the long box while I flip through it will definitely save my back. I also think I may repaint the room again to something a bit more subtle than the green.

I like the changes, but it's clear that they are works in progress, but things are moving in a better direction than before.

It's been a really busy few days, mostly good and a hint of bad.

• I took Friday off so I could jaunt down to Corbin to see my sister and my mom. Mom seems to have adjusted well to the nursing home. She has moments where she's not happy there, but others she where she's enjoying the company of the other ladies. My sister and I had a bitch-fest about my twin who hasn't visited Mom since Christmas. He lives in town, less than ten minutes from Mom, yet he does not want to visit. I'm not sure what his issues are, but I foresee me having it out with him soon over his behavior.



• Saturday was my drive home. It was relatively uneventful. I got back to spend a few hours cleaning the house in anticipation of the arrival of Steve (rootbeer1).



• Steve and I hung out for a few days, eating Skyline Chili multiple times and enjoying Graeter's Ice Cream. We did see "A Quiet Place" which was really good for a horror movie. We both agreed that sadly there was not enough shirtlessness on the part of bearded lead actor/director John Krasinski.



• I was back in the office today and swamped. In the middle of the day, my sister texted me that the nursing home had sent Mom to the hospital, thinking that she's had another stroke. She had stopped talking and responding to people. The doctors believe that she's had a "mini-stroke," but I asked my sis if she though Mom had contracted another UTI, which caused a lot of her issues last year. They sent her back to the nursing home, as the doctors said that there wasn't anything else they could do. However, they did find out... she has another UTI. Hopefully, they can treat it and Mom will get closer to normal.



• Tonight, I'm just exhausted, so it is just TV, watching the season finale of "Schitt's Creek" and reruns of "The Bionic Woman." I'm already looking forward to the weekend.



• Lastly, but not least, happy birthday hugs to the somewhat invisible xianjessen ;)

I spent most of the day sleeping. I'm not depressed or anything, but after a weekend full of softball, followed by an afternoon in Lexington, KY with my sister, and then another softball evening, I was just beat. I slept in, goofed around online for a couple of hours, went back to sleep for a couple of hours, then got the day started.

After an early dinner, I stopped by Home Depot as I was thinking of buying a pressure washer. I just wanted to look at them to see what they cost. I found a good deal on one, so I went ahead and bought it. My reason for getting it was to clean the exterior of the house, which desperately needs washing. One of the issues of living so close to the woods is that the green pollen, algae, or whatever clings to the house.

I'm sure I will feel incredibly manly blasting the house clean tomorrow. I suspect it will have many other uses, like cleaning the steps, the patio, anything requiring a good water blast. Heh...

My sister sent me a text message earlier today, giving me some of the details for my nephew's upcoming orientation at Berea College, where he's starting as a freshman in a couple of weeks. I called her and we discussed things. He has his schedule, his roommate is a guy named Jacob from West Virginia who he doesn't know, and he's got his dorm assignment (a fairly decent dorm really).

My brother-in-law asked my sister if she would ask me to go with them next Saturday. As a Berea alumnus, they feel like I know the ropes better than they do. I can tell they are starting to freak a bit. This is my sister's only kid, so she only gets to do this once.

I talked to my sis about making sure he had all the odds and ends -- a fridge for the room, a TV, bed sheets and towels, pillows, garbage can, laundry basket, washing powder, shower shoes, etc. I told her that he needs to call his roommate to see what he's bringing so they don't double dip.

I told my sis that I'd be there Saturday morning to help him get settled. I have a feeling I may be buying his books for the first semester. Just a feeling. We'll get his room situated and I'll take him to lunch at one of my old favorite hangouts. I hope to see my old dorm room if I can.

Before I got off the phone, my sister told me, "This $#!+ is getting REAL!"

Yeah, it is. Her baby is grown and going off to college. I hope she can handle it.

As I was coming in from lunch today, my phone gave that special "double-vibrate" that signifies that I've gotten a text message. I wasn't expecting anything specific today, so it took me a few moments to get my phone out to take a look.

The message was from my sister. She told me that my nephew had gotten his acceptance letter to Berea College. She and my nephew have anxiously been waiting for news and I'm happy that he made it in. It will be a good experience for him I think and the proximity to home (it's 45 minutes away from our hometown) will give him some security but enough distance for independence. At least that is what Berea did for me. He will get a good, well-rounded education there, with small classes and individual attention. I expect it will also be an eye-opening experience for him too.

The funny part is that he still doesn't know yet. After classes today, he went straight to work and won't be home for another 10 minutes or more. My sister didn't text him or call him, she wants him to read the letter himself. I replied via text to her soon after reading the message to express my congrats!

So, another Berea alum in the family. I'm happy. I suspect I'll be buying his books and paying some odds and ends expenses for him at times, but I'll be glad to do that.

My sister and her family came up yesterday to hang out. We goofed around the house for a little bit before heading to the softball field. This is the first time in my life that my family has seen me in a gay-friendly setting. I wasn't nervous as my sister has always been supportive, but I always worry about her hubby JB being uncomfortable. My 17-year-old nephew is a modern teen and is always okay with stuff.

Everything went well. My sister and brother-in-law were slightly inebriated (I drove) and had a lot of fun at the games. I hit a great shot my first time at bat. At my second time at bat, my sister yelled from the stands, "GO T-BUD!" "T-Bud" was my dad's nickname and he was a horrible athlete. I turned to the stand with the "WTF??" look, my sis laughed, and I ended up hitting a beautiful shot three feet in front of home plate. I hauled ass to first and was luckily safe, turning around and nearly giving my sister the finger for distracting me. She was laughing and her hubby told to her keep her mouth shut when I bat. :D

I sat out the second game as we had other folks who hadn't played, so I spent time with them watching the second game. My family was having a great time and my sister was sad that our hometown doesn't have a co-ed league that she could play in. She even made comment that she might come up and play in the tournament over Labor Day with my team. My team captain actually looked hopeful she would (my sis is a good softball player).

We won both games and then went to Buffalo Wild Wings for a late dinner. We got home and stayed up talking until about 1 AM. I asked my sister if she got hit on at the park. She said no, but she noticed that her hubby got a few looks. I told her that a couple of them came from my dugout, according to what some of my teammates were saying about him. JB took it in stride with a smile. I like a straight guy who can take a complimentary glance from a gay man. :)

One thing I love to do when I go home is marvel at how much my sister changes her home. Being currently unemployed, she has a lot of free time and not a lot of money to spend, but she likes to stay busy. So she has been inexpensively painting and changing her home. She painted her small kitchen, painted the cabinets and changed the fixtures. The overall effect is impressive. Her kitchen looks new, done very inexpensively, and I'm jealous.

Now I'm itching to do the same things to my house. I've lived in it for twelve years almost and have done very little to it decoratively other than painting rooms. My kitchen looks dated, but a complete overhaul isn't in the budget, but doing the simple things that my sis did to her kitchen would work on mine. It's definitely a project to consider when the holidays are done.

I had planned on drawing up some ideas of how I'd like the kitchen to look last night, but I got distracted watching TV and started doodling this archer instead. I like the look and I think I'll use him in a future comic book issue.

Happy Monday everyone. If you can muster it. :)

My big (and only) sister hits the big 4-0 today. I haven't quite figured out if she's happy about it or not. She leans one way, then the next it seems, but maybe that's only to fart. I'll be calling her later to see what she's up to and to sing horribly to her. I'm hoping she's got big plans. I wish her birthday had fallen on the weekend so I could swing home.

Softball last night was fun. We only lost by three runs, but I had at least one beautiful shot to the outfield. My teammates even said let loose a big grunt when it smacked it. Sadly it got caught, but it looked really good. One day I'll go over that fence, I promise. It was a good night though, perfect weather, and the Lesbian team we played included some really jokers.

I snapped this other night when Murphy wasn't being a pest while I was drawing. My couches are only a couple of years old, but the back pillows have these huge depressions in them. They are essentially kitteh sleeping compartments. It's hard to get upset with him when he looks this cute. I'll just fluff the pillows up later.

Happy hump day, y'all....