Mark at 40

[kybearfuzz]

Me at 40. It's a funny feeling to actually say it, but I don't know why.


Me at 40

I never had predictions or hopes for what I'd be at 40. I don't know if that strange or not. I always thought I'd be married with kids at 27, when 2000 came around, but never really wondered beyond that. When 30 hit, I finally admitted to myself that I was gay and things took an amazing upswing in my life and my attitude towards it. Having such a milestone happen, I wasn't sure what would top it.

Last night, I was getting my hair did by a young woman from Ecuador. In trying to strike up conversation, she asked me if I had kids or was married and I said no to both. She then asked me if I wanted kids, and I found myself admitting that I've accepted that I likely will not and that I'm okay with that too. A part of me wondered if she was fishing for a husband.

At a young age I had projected what I felt I should have based on what everyone else was doing at 27 or 30. Part of growing up is realizing that those things are just not what will happen, even though it defies a great deal of convention. 40, unmarried, and childless. Eh, that's okay.

The twin sent me a birthday card that said "We Made It!" inside. It caught me off-guard because I never thought for a moment that we wouldn't. Maybe having no long-term goals at milestones is for the best. I suspect it will only get better from here and I won't be disappointed.

Comments

[celtictats.livejournal.com]

For the record, Tom was 41 the year Anna was born.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

I guess it might be different if I had a desire to have kids. My dad was 39 when I was born.

There are days I might have thought of having kids, but I'm good being the uncle to many.