kybearfuzz: (Patsy)
[personal profile] kybearfuzz
I went to the Serpent tonight to hang out with Paul for a bit. After hearing about my rough work month, Paul gave me a great back and shoulder rub. The man has amazing hands, it felt so good after a tense month. Paul's a great guy :). While chatting with a few guys, I noted that I often drink Diet Coke while others drink beer. It made me recall my only drunken experience. So being one to laugh at myself.. often... I found a photo of this half-remembered experience.

Three Sheets to the Wind and My Sister Loving It
Me, Drunk at 23, with my goofy sister watching from behind


It's hard to recant of my first drunken experience considering that I don't remember all of it. From the more experienced family members who have tied one on, my first and only was a doozy they say. Set the way back machine to 1996...

My sister (as pictured above) was throwing a cookout kegger in the hollow (pronounced "holler") where she lives in Southern KY. It is a great place to throw a loud party because there are no close neighbors and you can make as much noise as you want. All of my cousins and their significant others showed up. There was food, beer, wine cooler.. and soon a rather devious bottle of peppermint schnapps.

I had several wine coolers and then a couple of beers. My cousins Brian and Roger showed up soon with a bottle of "Gold Rush," peppermint schnapps with flakes of gold floating in it. My cousins kept saying that they wouldn't try it, so to be the rebel and to prove something to them, I took swig after swig from that bottle. Things were fine for a while and then... BOOM.. it hit me... My legs grew wobbly and the world seemed to spin about. I had to hang onto the rented tent for support. During the ensuing evening, my cousins kept offering me the bottle, but several accounts say that after a while I was seeking it out. This photo actually shows me holding the cursed exilir (though near empty). I'm probably talking to the photographer with my endorsement for the Gold Rush product.

My memory of the evening is full of holes. At some point I tripped over the grill and amazingly did not get burned. I tripped over folding chairs, cursed out relatives who didn't bother showing up, and went wading through the creek running behind my sister's home (ruining a new pair of Reeboks). I don't remember any of these events. My sister was gracious enough to have taken pictures of this night, like the one above. Nothing like having photographic proof! At some point, my car keys were taken away and so were my glasses.. so not only was I drunk, but I couldn't really see anything anyway.

My sister finally got two of her very cute brothers-in-law to carry me to the front porch of her house. I told both of them how lucky my sister was to have them as family. I was sat on the porch where I carried a conversation with thin air for half an hour.

At some point I was put to bed after the party ended. Now the fun part of the evening for me was just getting started. The potent cocktail of wine coolers, beer, picnic food, and more than half bottle of Gold Rush became more than my system could hold. I barely made it to the bathroom in time to do the full technicolor yawn.. loudly.. at 3 AM. I can't imagine how all of that stuff ended up in me, but once it was all out, my body kept trying to expel my very soul. Through my chest, I believe, from the pain....

After an hour of that, I passed out on the couch. I woke up about five hours later, back in the bathroom going at it again. I woke up the entire house with me. My sister just kept walking past me on the couch and giving me a sly grin. I'd swear it was a look of approval, like I had earned a scout badge in hangovers. I couldn't eat anything and felt like crap. I learned that when you are hungover, no one had any sympathy for you. My mom gave me a several disapproving looks. Ironically, the only person who ever wanted to see me drunk was the twin and he didn't show up to the party.

Needless to say, I was miserable for the next two days. While being all tipsy and stuff was fun (I was labeled the life of the party from many family members), but the morning after and the following day was horrible. So I have not repeated the experience since. I generally cut myself off at two beers now. I'm afraid, Patsy Stone I ain't.

As a joke, a friend bought me a bottle of Gold Rush for my birthday... it sits downstairs to this day. It's a very pretty snow globe. :)

Date: 2005-09-27 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
I'm just glad I'm not the only one that can't handle a lot of alchohol either. ;-)

Date: 2005-09-27 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Oh, I've always been a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I do love my Guinness though.

Date: 2005-09-27 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daltxfurry.livejournal.com
2 or 3 margaritas and I am passed out on the floor. I sooo cannot handle my alcohol. Very much a lightweight here too!

Date: 2005-09-27 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Hee hee.. I'll have to remember that...;)

Date: 2005-09-28 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
Hehe... I'm the same way. A good beer or glass of wine is definately fine by me. :-)

Date: 2005-09-27 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] polomex.livejournal.com
I've always been oddly fascinated by the phenomenon of an alochol-induced memory loss. I've never experienced this. And I had many college parties where I probably did drink enough that I should have forgotten but didn't. Details and chronology may be fuzzy the next day, but events I remember.

Date: 2005-09-27 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Ah, I envy you that. There are huge chunks of that night I don't recall and I usually just am in awe when my sister tells me of the things I did that night.

It's one of the more disturbing parts of drinking too much for me, not being in control of myself and not remembering what I did or who I told off....

Date: 2005-09-27 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikiedoggie.livejournal.com
This is an amazing funny story, from my perspective. That picture of you, btw, with the mustasche.. its just so classic drunk! I love it.

As a former heavy drinker, I must applaud you for your restraint. As I get older, the hangovers get worse so other than rare situations where I forget myself, I try to stop at "mildly buzzed."

So we gonna get a third beer into you this weekend?

Date: 2005-09-27 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
A former heavy drinker? Didn't you have that drunken bathroom episode not long ago??? When did you go "former"? LOL! :)

Ah, I was classically drunk that night, I guess. The mustache was not my favorite look and it's thickened quite a bit since my early 20's.

Date: 2005-09-27 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikiedoggie.livejournal.com
LOL. Well, I have a very liberal view of what a heavy drinker is. I used to drink 4 or more beers a night for five out of seven days. Heh. Now its more, um, sedate. I get sleepy at two beers. Thankfully!

Well your facial hair certainly looks good now.

Date: 2005-09-27 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
LOL.. thanks...

My nephew (the 30 year old, not the 10 year old) and I went to a bar and grill for dinner once. I saw him put away EIGHT Coronas in a row. The drunk little shit ended up taking my cell phone apart when I wasn't looking (his ability to disassemble electronics is legendary). I was both disturbed and amazed at how well he can function after that many beers.

has it been that long...

Date: 2005-09-27 07:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aceofspace.livejournal.com
I feel it my duty to point out that at least some of the wet marks on your shirt are from water that we tried to get you to drink. None of it made to your mouth, of course :) I shouldn't be surprised that photographic evidence exist, but I just can't believe it's been that long ago.

:p

Re: has it been that long...

Date: 2005-09-27 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
LOL.. I'm pretty sure you're the one who took my keys from me that night, and for that I thank you!

I don't think I remember you telling me about the water before though. Considering how much I tend to sweat, I just figured it was that.

Date: 2005-09-27 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleuvalentines.livejournal.com
While I have a hard time picturing you REALLY tying one on ... I also have to admit that I'm chuckling to myself a wee bit because I bet you were hilarious! *laugh*

At least Brian says he tried to get you to drink water ... a good friend indeed! (However, I'd be suspicious that he was actually pouring more schnapps down your throat ... water, peppermint schnapps ... it all looks the same!) ;)

Date: 2005-09-27 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
LOL.. well in the years we went to high school, did you ever see me out drinking at parties? Did you ever see me at parties period?

It was quite the experience, let me tell you...

Date: 2005-09-27 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleuvalentines.livejournal.com
It was simply because we had better things to do in HS than be out getting stupid at parties. =)

Now ... don't ask me what those important things were ... but I have a sneaking suspician that, for me, it was cruising the shopping center. *rolls eyes*

Date: 2005-09-27 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
OMG! You cruised Trademart?? That's so... 80's ;)

Date: 2005-09-27 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleuvalentines.livejournal.com
Oh dear lord, Mark. I went around that shopping center more times that even I would care to admit to most people. The true definition of a mispent youth. ;)

Date: 2005-09-28 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aceofspace.livejournal.com
...two miles an hour...so everybody sees you...

Date: 2005-09-28 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleuvalentines.livejournal.com
He he he ... fly from the beauty salon!

Thanks for starting my morning off with a good laugh! =)

Date: 2005-09-28 11:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Imagine all the gasoline wasted driving around and around and around that parking lot. Sadly, in our hometown, there was nothing else to do on a Friday night :)

Date: 2005-09-28 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleuvalentines.livejournal.com
Yep ... a real energy sucubus! ;)

Of course, there was some parking (not THAT kind of parking) involved. ;)

Date: 2005-09-27 11:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anziulewicz.livejournal.com
Good for you that alcoholism doesn't appear to be an issue. Now all you need to is find that special someone with whom you share that non-addictive personality.

Date: 2005-09-27 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Oh I've never been much of a drinker. Even in college, I didn't like the taste of beer then (oh how things have changed), but it wasn't that accessible either.

Between a beer and a diet coke, the diet coke usually wins. :)

Date: 2005-09-27 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cincycub.livejournal.com
I don't know whether I'm more scared by you being drunk or your mustache!

Date: 2005-09-27 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
That mustache just screams "cheese" doesn't it? You should have seen my first beard at 19, with my big hair and cheesy thin mustache, it was a sight to behold.

Date: 2005-09-28 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boobooirl.livejournal.com
Sounds like a perfect drunk experience.
Surely though you know that you can't judge something based on a once off experience. It's important to experience everything twice in order to make a true judgement.
(this time - take videos!)

Date: 2005-09-29 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kybearfuzz.livejournal.com
Ha! You are so funny! Honestly wouldn't repeat that night for anything.. was a miserable morning the day after. :)

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