Ten Years Out
Jan. 15th, 2013 08:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kybearfuzzJanuary 2013 means I have been out of the closet for ten years. While so many things have happened, it still doesn't feel like it's been 10 years. I remember the frightening feeling of admitting it to myself at 30, but things have certainly gone far better than I thought it would have.
Looks bright, right?
I was wondering what I'd post for this anniversary. On the drive home today, I heard an Aerosmith song on the radio and it came to me (and no, it wasn't "Dude Looks Like a Lady"). It was "Rag Doll" and it reminded me of something from long ago, the first time a guy hit on me. It was surprising and nerve-wracking at the time, yet funny in retrospect.
I was eight years old.
Hey, don't freak out and call Chris Hansen! I wasn't molested or anything like that! This is not a dirty story, I promise.
When I was eight years old, the annual JLA/JSA team-up came out in late 1981. It was a fantastic story, drawn by the always impressive George Perez. This team-up in Justice League of America #195-197 brought out some heroes and villains from the Golden Age. One of the great ones I read in the comic was a villain called Rag Doll, a triple-jointed bad guy who dressed up like a giant rag doll and fought the Golden Age Flash. I was amazingly taken with the Golden Age comic characters because they were new to me.
My dad was a truck driver, who had a regular, daily route between my hometown of Corbin, KY and Lexington, KY about 90 miles away. He drove the local mail to the sorting center six nights a week and brought the Corbin mail back. On occasion, the twin and I would accompany him. On this particular trip, it was just me.
In Dad's truck was a CB radio and we'd chat away on it often. On this particular trip, we had arrived in Lexington around 11 PM. Dad was inside the sorting center getting the necessary paperwork fixed up and left me in the cab alone. I knew better than to touch anything that would cause the truck to move, but the CB was fair game. So I started chatting and came up with the CB-handle "Rag Doll." Anonymity was fun and I thought it was a neat handle.
Some unknown trucker started chatting with me. I don't recall his handle, so we'll just call him "Hairy Trucker." He started telling me that I had a nice voice and asked me what I was up to tonight. I told him I was just passing through Lexington as soon as the truck was ready. He told me that he was breezing through the area on I-75 himself. After about four or five minutes of talking, he asked me if I knew where a certain hotel in Lexington. I said I didn't. He told me what exit it was on and asked me if I wanted to meet there for a drink.
Naive and confused to what he was hinting at, I just blurted out to him something like, "I can't, my dad will be here in a few minutes and we need to get home."
Somewhere in the next few questions, I honestly told him I was a boy and 8 years old. I thought that it was obvious. I can't imagine how freaked out this guy was. He did ask something like, "Why would you use a handle like 'Rag Doll'?"
I told him that it was a comic book character that I thought was cool. He educated me that it was a girl's handle.
Mortified that I had done something wrong, I signed off and stayed away from the CB for the rest of the night. It wasn't until years later that it hit me what Hairy Trucker was asking for. I can definitely see the humor in it now. I often wonder what the trucker told people, if he ever told anyone he propositioned a lady that turned out to be an 8-year-old boy.
Obviously, I was good at chatting and ironically practicing for something I do regularly these days. :D
Looks bright, right?
I was wondering what I'd post for this anniversary. On the drive home today, I heard an Aerosmith song on the radio and it came to me (and no, it wasn't "Dude Looks Like a Lady"). It was "Rag Doll" and it reminded me of something from long ago, the first time a guy hit on me. It was surprising and nerve-wracking at the time, yet funny in retrospect.
I was eight years old.
Hey, don't freak out and call Chris Hansen! I wasn't molested or anything like that! This is not a dirty story, I promise.
When I was eight years old, the annual JLA/JSA team-up came out in late 1981. It was a fantastic story, drawn by the always impressive George Perez. This team-up in Justice League of America #195-197 brought out some heroes and villains from the Golden Age. One of the great ones I read in the comic was a villain called Rag Doll, a triple-jointed bad guy who dressed up like a giant rag doll and fought the Golden Age Flash. I was amazingly taken with the Golden Age comic characters because they were new to me.My dad was a truck driver, who had a regular, daily route between my hometown of Corbin, KY and Lexington, KY about 90 miles away. He drove the local mail to the sorting center six nights a week and brought the Corbin mail back. On occasion, the twin and I would accompany him. On this particular trip, it was just me.
In Dad's truck was a CB radio and we'd chat away on it often. On this particular trip, we had arrived in Lexington around 11 PM. Dad was inside the sorting center getting the necessary paperwork fixed up and left me in the cab alone. I knew better than to touch anything that would cause the truck to move, but the CB was fair game. So I started chatting and came up with the CB-handle "Rag Doll." Anonymity was fun and I thought it was a neat handle.
Some unknown trucker started chatting with me. I don't recall his handle, so we'll just call him "Hairy Trucker." He started telling me that I had a nice voice and asked me what I was up to tonight. I told him I was just passing through Lexington as soon as the truck was ready. He told me that he was breezing through the area on I-75 himself. After about four or five minutes of talking, he asked me if I knew where a certain hotel in Lexington. I said I didn't. He told me what exit it was on and asked me if I wanted to meet there for a drink.
Naive and confused to what he was hinting at, I just blurted out to him something like, "I can't, my dad will be here in a few minutes and we need to get home."
Somewhere in the next few questions, I honestly told him I was a boy and 8 years old. I thought that it was obvious. I can't imagine how freaked out this guy was. He did ask something like, "Why would you use a handle like 'Rag Doll'?"
I told him that it was a comic book character that I thought was cool. He educated me that it was a girl's handle.
Mortified that I had done something wrong, I signed off and stayed away from the CB for the rest of the night. It wasn't until years later that it hit me what Hairy Trucker was asking for. I can definitely see the humor in it now. I often wonder what the trucker told people, if he ever told anyone he propositioned a lady that turned out to be an 8-year-old boy.
Obviously, I was good at chatting and ironically practicing for something I do regularly these days. :D
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Date: 2013-01-16 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 12:58 pm (UTC)Oh, if my parents had only known... :D
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Date: 2013-01-17 02:15 am (UTC)Congratulations on celebrating a milestone in your personal history, handsome. May there be many more to come.
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Date: 2013-01-16 03:47 am (UTC)Happy Anniversary handsome!!
Glad to have ya!!!
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Date: 2013-01-16 12:58 pm (UTC)Thanks and big hugs!
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Date: 2013-01-16 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-18 01:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 04:25 am (UTC)If you could go back and tell your 30 year old self anything, what would you say?
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Date: 2013-01-16 01:01 pm (UTC)And I think I'd tell "Me at 30" to relax, that things wont be 1/4 as bad as he thought. Personally, I'd rather go back to "Mark at 24" and told him to snap out of it and come out already.
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Date: 2013-01-16 06:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 01:02 pm (UTC)... and thanks!
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Date: 2013-01-16 07:27 am (UTC)MMMMmmmm- truckers!!
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Date: 2013-01-16 01:02 pm (UTC)And thanks for the musical boost!
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Date: 2013-01-16 07:42 pm (UTC)Does music give you strength, as it does when Dazzler hears it, and can convert it into light?
Because music has always given me strength.
I love that user icon-it looks like you! Who did it?
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Date: 2013-01-16 10:30 pm (UTC)And the icon is from the movie poster for "Super-Mario Brothers." It's Bob Hoskins as Mario. :)
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Date: 2013-01-17 01:17 am (UTC)Yeah, Dazzler powers are cool-so are a LOT of other powers!! :)
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Date: 2013-01-16 12:25 pm (UTC)Great pic.
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Date: 2013-01-16 01:03 pm (UTC)And thanks!
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Date: 2013-01-16 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-16 01:39 pm (UTC)And a belated happy birthday. I've been absent a lot, so I missed it. I hope you had a terrific day.
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Date: 2013-01-16 02:55 pm (UTC)And as for who I told first, that would be my sister and the twin. My sis was thrilled, but the twin's reaction wasn't the warmest, but things are fine.
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Date: 2013-01-16 04:09 pm (UTC)happy coming out anniversary, always nice to have another super-hottie on the gay side :)
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Date: 2013-01-16 05:30 pm (UTC)And thanks! It's grand to be on the gay side.
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Date: 2013-01-18 07:59 am (UTC)Love the photo ...you look like 'Zen, the All-Knowing and Serenely Wry'
Congrats on your tenth anniversary. I've always found that coming out is an ongoing process; one seems to peel away layers, and new environments with new people often prompt the process to start again ...tho with passage of time it seems to get a lot easier.
I remember that the first step, admitting it to myself, was the hardest ...and yes, tho it wasn't at first easy, it got a lot easier the more comfortable I got with the idea that I am gay. I remember that there was one more major step ... the realization that not only am I gay in the present tense and have been up to this point, but that I will be gay for all of my future days. It is a peaceful thought.
Hugs!
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Date: 2013-01-18 09:43 am (UTC)Big Hugs!
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Date: 2013-01-22 03:14 am (UTC)