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kybearfuzzYesterday I was printed out six presentations I have to give next week, each one between 45 minutes to 90 minutes long, for the computer class I teach. As I was driving home, I was going over the easiest one in my head, planning the approach I would use to try to make a dull topic interesting.
For some reason, I thought of Mrs. Crabtree, my freshman and junior-year high school English teacher.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aceofspace and I endured that lady for two years.
At some point in her very long history of teaching, Mrs. Crabtree had a car accident supposedly that rattled her noggin and left her ... peculiar.
She and her husband owned the drive-in restaurant across the street from the high school and she could see the restaurant from the window in her classroom. I'm not sure if this was coincidence or not, but it seemed to be perfect for jokes. Mrs. Crabtree had money, she was always dressed in blazer jackets and/or turtlenecks, with a large ugly conglomerate mound of melted silver and diamonds that hung from a silver chain around her neck. Despite her classy appearance, her puff of gray-blondish hair made her look like a yellowed Q-tip. In the two years I saw her in class, she always seemed to have a line of dandruff across the back of her shoulders. Either that or she was single-handedly trying to bring back the powdered wig.
To say she was a good teacher would be a gag. She taught from a marked-up Cliffs-notes book of whatever book we were reading. She literally would read from this book, line by line, and tell us about the story. Questions were rhetorical and if answered verbally by a student, it would throw off her rhythm. The goal to was take notes of anything she said, because you would have to regurgitate it back to her come test day.
She never looked at the class, but stared at the bright orange back wall. She would sometimes point to one corner and say a student's name, only to find out the student was on the opposite side of the room. My brother and his friends would dip snuff in the back of the room, spit into the carpet and rub it in with their felt. I honestly believe a tobacco patch was growing in the rear of the room by my senior year.
On the odd occasion that she decided to stare out the window, we students would always joke that she was reading the cue cards that her husband was holding up at the restaurant for her.
Her grading system was haphazardous as well. If you wrote a book report, your grade was always up in the air and subjective. If she liked you, you usually got a good grade. If she didn't, you grade was often less. I once wrote a book report for one of my sister's friends, pretty much the same report I submitted for my own. I got an A, she got a C. Even in the realm of the infamous true-false test questions, you were never guaranteed to a good grade. I believe once thataceofspace and I answered the same test question with opposing answers and both were counted as wrong.
Thankfully high school eventually ended. I can't say I never learned anything from her. If anything, I believe I learned how to avoid being a bad instructor. I'll be leaving my Cliffs notes and powdered wig at home.
Happy Leap Day, all :)
For some reason, I thought of Mrs. Crabtree, my freshman and junior-year high school English teacher.
aceofspace and I endured that lady for two years.At some point in her very long history of teaching, Mrs. Crabtree had a car accident supposedly that rattled her noggin and left her ... peculiar.
She and her husband owned the drive-in restaurant across the street from the high school and she could see the restaurant from the window in her classroom. I'm not sure if this was coincidence or not, but it seemed to be perfect for jokes. Mrs. Crabtree had money, she was always dressed in blazer jackets and/or turtlenecks, with a large ugly conglomerate mound of melted silver and diamonds that hung from a silver chain around her neck. Despite her classy appearance, her puff of gray-blondish hair made her look like a yellowed Q-tip. In the two years I saw her in class, she always seemed to have a line of dandruff across the back of her shoulders. Either that or she was single-handedly trying to bring back the powdered wig.
To say she was a good teacher would be a gag. She taught from a marked-up Cliffs-notes book of whatever book we were reading. She literally would read from this book, line by line, and tell us about the story. Questions were rhetorical and if answered verbally by a student, it would throw off her rhythm. The goal to was take notes of anything she said, because you would have to regurgitate it back to her come test day.
She never looked at the class, but stared at the bright orange back wall. She would sometimes point to one corner and say a student's name, only to find out the student was on the opposite side of the room. My brother and his friends would dip snuff in the back of the room, spit into the carpet and rub it in with their felt. I honestly believe a tobacco patch was growing in the rear of the room by my senior year.
On the odd occasion that she decided to stare out the window, we students would always joke that she was reading the cue cards that her husband was holding up at the restaurant for her.
Her grading system was haphazardous as well. If you wrote a book report, your grade was always up in the air and subjective. If she liked you, you usually got a good grade. If she didn't, you grade was often less. I once wrote a book report for one of my sister's friends, pretty much the same report I submitted for my own. I got an A, she got a C. Even in the realm of the infamous true-false test questions, you were never guaranteed to a good grade. I believe once that
aceofspace and I answered the same test question with opposing answers and both were counted as wrong.Thankfully high school eventually ended. I can't say I never learned anything from her. If anything, I believe I learned how to avoid being a bad instructor. I'll be leaving my Cliffs notes and powdered wig at home.
Happy Leap Day, all :)
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no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 01:54 pm (UTC)I had one really bad teacher, Mrs Schmidt. To this day, I score low on standardized math tests, as she didn't know geometry from her fat ass! You touched a nerve here with this tale of a bad teacher! Thanks for sharing!
HUGS!
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 10:46 pm (UTC)My high school had several, but Mrs. Crabtree seemed to rank among the top.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 04:25 pm (UTC)hahahahahahaha this is too funny
I had all sorts of odd and crazy teachers. I suspect I was just in the right generation that had a lot of very very old teachers that weren't ready to retire yet and the new one's hadn't had a chance to come in yet. I even had one math teacher that would occasionally forget to come to class... we'd send someone down to the teachers lounge (cough cough cough smokey) to fetch him when he'd forget :P
Damn tho... I wouldn't have learned a thing from you if you were teaching me... I'd be spending my whole time just watching you being all swooney and stuff LOL
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 10:47 pm (UTC)Ah, I should be so fortunate to have students like you :)
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 11:10 pm (UTC)I did have some great teacher crushes though too, my heart just ached for a couple of them. It's very interesting to be an adult and realize they were all just human too, and prolly had a heart ache (or hard on) for a few students themselves over the years. I would think it would be so difficult to be a teacher with girls and boys getting crushes on you time and time again. Such an awkward and ugly situation :P
flashback
Date: 2012-03-08 02:04 am (UTC)Re: flashback
Date: 2012-03-15 12:13 pm (UTC)I don't know why, but I often wonder what happened to her after she left teaching. Maybe this summer we'll see her in short-shorts serving food at the Root Beer Stand!
(I'll give you a moment to digest that.. then throw up)