Rant on Snow Time Joggers
Jan. 30th, 2009 07:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kybearfuzz[rant]
Dear Neighborhood Joggers,
While I appreciate the sheer chutzpah you must have to get up, get dressed, and go out in freezing temperatures to run miles upon miles in the dark and pre-dawn hours, please do me a favor and stay out of the MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' ROAD, especially when they are covered in ice and I'm driving rather unsteadily.
I know the sidewalks are covered in a foot of snow and ice, but your being in the middle of the street puts you in my way. If you have no where to run, take it as a hint from a higher power that you might want to skip jogging outdoors today. The gyms are open at 5 AM in our neighborhood. Use them.
Slowing down to avoid you means tapping my breaks and science has shown that breaking and ice-laden roadways don't always enjoy each other, as certain physical forces beyond either of our control are also at work. These same forces can cause my car to careen in your general direction and slam into the three of you. And let's face it, do you really want that tight running suit and ponytail to be known as the last outfit you ever wore? I'm sure the Heavenly Gatekeeper or hellacious doorman, whoever is on duty at the time of your arrival in either place, will gawk and shake his head at you in a way that speaks "dumbass" without saying a word.
Be gracious, if you can't go to the gym, stay home and stay warm. This way you increase your chances of living and I decrease my chances of being charged with involuntary vehicular manslaughter.
Your irritated neighbor,
Mark [/rant]
Dear Neighborhood Joggers,
While I appreciate the sheer chutzpah you must have to get up, get dressed, and go out in freezing temperatures to run miles upon miles in the dark and pre-dawn hours, please do me a favor and stay out of the MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' ROAD, especially when they are covered in ice and I'm driving rather unsteadily.
I know the sidewalks are covered in a foot of snow and ice, but your being in the middle of the street puts you in my way. If you have no where to run, take it as a hint from a higher power that you might want to skip jogging outdoors today. The gyms are open at 5 AM in our neighborhood. Use them.
Slowing down to avoid you means tapping my breaks and science has shown that breaking and ice-laden roadways don't always enjoy each other, as certain physical forces beyond either of our control are also at work. These same forces can cause my car to careen in your general direction and slam into the three of you. And let's face it, do you really want that tight running suit and ponytail to be known as the last outfit you ever wore? I'm sure the Heavenly Gatekeeper or hellacious doorman, whoever is on duty at the time of your arrival in either place, will gawk and shake his head at you in a way that speaks "dumbass" without saying a word.
Be gracious, if you can't go to the gym, stay home and stay warm. This way you increase your chances of living and I decrease my chances of being charged with involuntary vehicular manslaughter.
Your irritated neighbor,
Mark [/rant]
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-01 12:22 am (UTC)Joggers round here run in the streets on good days. And we have jogging trails and sidewalks.