Characters of my old neighborhood...
Nov. 16th, 2006 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kybearfuzzToday I ended up going to a surprise meeting in Columbus. Nothing wrecks a day like something spontaneous. So as my coworkers were driving back to the office, we got on the topic of strange people and I started describing the folks in my old neighborhood when I was a kid. The other guys thought I was making them up and after hearing it out loud from myself, I admit that it sounds somewhat bizarre, but I swear that they were exactly as I remember them. I listed them under the cut for the uninterested...
My Neighbors, Circa 1977
Granny Cress -- She was very old when I was a small kid, living in a small house beyond our back yard. She always came over to use the phone. She was one of those sweet little old ladies who actually chewed tobacco. She always had brown stains in the corners of her mouth, in the creases. I remember her because she used to chase my brother, sister, and me trying to give us kisses. One look of those stained corners and we kids would scramble. She passed on in 1978, I think.
Louise -- I don't think I ever knew her last name. She was an alcoholic who used to come over to use the phone (it makes one think we were the only one in the neighborhood with a phone). She was often drunk and reeked of alcohol. My mom was too nice to throw her out, so for a while it wasn't unusual to find her passed out on our couch. I remember her getting her pants caught in the fence around our garden when she tried to jump over it. I have no idea whatever happened to her.
Miss Herron -- The neighborhood cat lady with one arm. She probably had a dozen or so cats. I used to love to go to her back porch and play with them. She could be nice sometimes, kinda mean others. She graduated from high school in 1929, per her graduation group photo she had on her wall. I never asked her what happened to her arm, it just never occurred to me to ask. She eventually went to an old folks home and passed away.
Gillis Mayne -- He used to park his tractor in a barn down the road. When he finished working on his property, we'd hear him come up and beg him to let us ride it while he parked it in the barn. It was a real thrill to a little kid. I still remember the odd fuel smell from that tractor. His wife was my 4th grade teacher. He passed away when I was six or so.
Belle Turner -- Arguably the meanest lady I've ever met. She lived across the street from me when I was a kid. Very old with hair by Frankenstein, she was often found sitting on her steps in her moo-moo dress and her cane. She often forgot that her property ended at the street. When my brother and I would ride our bikes down the road, she's yell and scream at us, shaking her cane and telling us to get home. My brother naturally used to peel out his bike in the gravel just to irritate her. The police were called so often to her house that the street became known as "Turner Avenue" on the police scanner. One day, I happened to see her wrinkled, pendulous boob keeping her ankle company as she was sitting on her steps. If one event could actually make a person gay, this likely could have been it for me. She eventually was put into a nursing home where I heard she routinely screamed at the nursing staff, hitting them with her cane, getting her kicks. She was old when I was a kid and she passed away about four years ago, so she must have been ancient by then. The key to her longevity was a mystery, my guess was a deal with the devil.
My Neighbors, Circa 1977
Granny Cress -- She was very old when I was a small kid, living in a small house beyond our back yard. She always came over to use the phone. She was one of those sweet little old ladies who actually chewed tobacco. She always had brown stains in the corners of her mouth, in the creases. I remember her because she used to chase my brother, sister, and me trying to give us kisses. One look of those stained corners and we kids would scramble. She passed on in 1978, I think.
Louise -- I don't think I ever knew her last name. She was an alcoholic who used to come over to use the phone (it makes one think we were the only one in the neighborhood with a phone). She was often drunk and reeked of alcohol. My mom was too nice to throw her out, so for a while it wasn't unusual to find her passed out on our couch. I remember her getting her pants caught in the fence around our garden when she tried to jump over it. I have no idea whatever happened to her.
Miss Herron -- The neighborhood cat lady with one arm. She probably had a dozen or so cats. I used to love to go to her back porch and play with them. She could be nice sometimes, kinda mean others. She graduated from high school in 1929, per her graduation group photo she had on her wall. I never asked her what happened to her arm, it just never occurred to me to ask. She eventually went to an old folks home and passed away.
Gillis Mayne -- He used to park his tractor in a barn down the road. When he finished working on his property, we'd hear him come up and beg him to let us ride it while he parked it in the barn. It was a real thrill to a little kid. I still remember the odd fuel smell from that tractor. His wife was my 4th grade teacher. He passed away when I was six or so.
Belle Turner -- Arguably the meanest lady I've ever met. She lived across the street from me when I was a kid. Very old with hair by Frankenstein, she was often found sitting on her steps in her moo-moo dress and her cane. She often forgot that her property ended at the street. When my brother and I would ride our bikes down the road, she's yell and scream at us, shaking her cane and telling us to get home. My brother naturally used to peel out his bike in the gravel just to irritate her. The police were called so often to her house that the street became known as "Turner Avenue" on the police scanner. One day, I happened to see her wrinkled, pendulous boob keeping her ankle company as she was sitting on her steps. If one event could actually make a person gay, this likely could have been it for me. She eventually was put into a nursing home where I heard she routinely screamed at the nursing staff, hitting them with her cane, getting her kicks. She was old when I was a kid and she passed away about four years ago, so she must have been ancient by then. The key to her longevity was a mystery, my guess was a deal with the devil.
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Date: 2006-11-17 11:29 am (UTC)The one character I always wonder about is Smokey, the guy who used to dance on street corners and wave to people. His mom was something of a tyrant I've heard who always used to think people made fun of him. I'd like to know what eventually happened to him.
As for Helen, the bookstore closed and the inventory was sold to a guy who runs a teacher supply store off of 25 between London and Corbin. He's doing very well there. I'm not sure what happened to Helen and her husband after that.