Bloodrayne ... It stinks...

[kybearfuzz]

I decided to catch a matinee of Bloodrayne at the Erlanger Cinemas today. I usually enjoy a good vampire-action flick like Blade or even Underworld (I know some didn't like it). So, I figured this would be a nice quick movie to enjoy. Boy, was I wrong...

The movie just stunk. It had a decent plot I think, but just never came together. Michael Madsen stars as the vampire hunting group leader. His acting was awful, like he was reading his lines for voice-over of an episode of "Animal Precinct" on Animal Planet (his usual gig). He needs to stick to gritty cop dramas. The majority of the actors spoke with American accents and used slang, even though it was clear it was supposed to be in the medieval past. Among our cast was Meat Loaf playing a vampire playboy of sorts. Yeah, he was as good as you'd think.

The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and slow, the special effects were mainly blood spraying from wounds, and there was one sex scene between the two main characters that added nothing to the story. The movie played like one of those cheap, syndicated adventure series that UPN plays at 3 AM during the week. The ending left me saying "is that it?"

I wasn't the only one who was unhappy with it. One guy left halfway through and the guy behind me was snoring. Save your money....

Comments

that's unfortunate.

[roguecub.livejournal.com]

It's based on a pretty decent comic, so I would have hoped it translated well. Thanks for the tip!

Re: that's unfortunate.

[truebrixon.livejournal.com]

I knew it was a video game but didn't realize that it was also a comic book. I may have to check it out. Is it pretty good?

Re: that's unfortunate.

[roguecub.livejournal.com]

yeah perhaps it began as a video game...but it definitely has a comic book adaptation which I liked. The artwork was great and the storyline was decent.

[prisonbitch.livejournal.com]

I liked underworld
i really hope underworld 2 doesn't stink

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Actually, the previews for Underworld: Evolution look really good :)

[book-of-daniel.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, while I find your trusting and hopeful nature endearing, couldnt you tell by the previews alone that this was going to suck at a Cabin Fever level? Not once in the entire preview clip does the lead express or emote any type of reaction whatsover except, "These are my boobs LOOK AT THEM!" And Michael Madsen, hasnt he overdosed yet?

*sigh* It's a good thing you're so pretty...

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Oh you get to see the lead's boobs during the totally unnecessary sex scene. And I think Michael Madsen looks more like a bloated alcoholic than a dope fiend, just my opinion.

Honestly, I never saw previews for the movie until AFTER I watched it. They put Ben Kingsley in the previews to give it an air of respectibiilty. He must have really needed the money.

... and you know calling me "pretty" just makes me use my blonde icon.. but thanks :D

[book-of-daniel.livejournal.com]

Yep. Ben Kingsley. This was what I call a tax bill movie because there's no way in heaven or hell that he'd sign up for a crapfest like this unless he had a huge taxbill due this year and wanted to avoid foreclosure and prison time...

[ericdabear.livejournal.com]

I think the only thing making it a rental from your review would be to see Meatloaf as a playboy vampire. That's kind of funny in a comically scary way.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

According to the IMDB, the naked women he was surrounded by were actual prostitutes (his harem), because it was cheaper to hire real hookers than actresses to play them.

I suppose it COULD make a neat drinking game... :)