Bianca Del Rio and her "Rolodex of Hate"

Yesterday, I saw on Facebook that RuPaul's Drag Race Season Six winner Bianca Del Rio was bringing her "Rolodex of Hate" comedy show to Bogarts here in Cincinnati. I'm a huge fan of Bianca and thought seriously about going to the show.

After a rather rough week, I came home after work and took a nap, thinking I just might skip the show. I had no idea how good it was and the ticket prices seemed unusually high for Bogarts from what I heard from friends.

So after the nap, I revisited the idea, still sitting on the fence. I wasn't in the mood to go solo and it was really too late to ask anyone. Then I heard two voice in my head.

The first was my Genetics professor in college who told me that if I only went to things when people were available, I'd never see anything. Basically, she said go and enjoy these things, even if you have to go alone. I've remembered those words since college and she has always been correct.

The second voice belonged to my mother, the reigning shut-in queen of Southeastern KY. It went something like this:

"Why would you want to go to a thing like that? I would just stay home and save the money."

*insert eye roll*

Naturally, I bought the ticket, paying a few extra bucks for the front row for good measure, and went and had a grand time. Bianca is really funny and was very engaging with the crowd. Several of my local buddies were there after all. Hustler Hollywood was there giving away "prizes" (i.e. sex toys). The prize I got requires batteries and comes with a remote control. I felt special walking through the dark streets of Cincinnati carrying a bag with a sex toy. Needless to say, I drove the speed limit all the way home.

I really enjoyed the show. If you have the chance to see it, I recommend you go.

Dreaming About Being a Hero

I blame the porter beer I had last night for this one.

Strangely, from what I recall, the dream started out with me not participating in the action. It was like I was watching a movie. A young couple was driving along in their car down a secluded country road. They were dressed like a couple out of an early 1960s movie, very conservative, her in a sweater with one of those period bullet-bras that turned her boobs into a pair of vertical torpedoes and him in a suit.

On the road, they were attacked by a couple of guys who were dressed as filthy clowns. The husband or boyfriend was kidnapped but the girl managed to get away with just her hair slightly mussed. Freaked out, she ran down the road until she somehow came upon me several miles away. I wasn't sure what I was doing out in the middle of nowhere, but I guess I could have been visiting family.

So, being the Southern gentleman I am, I agreed to go back with her. Having no car, we took a scooter. Yes, a scooter. She was driving and I was sitting behind her with my hands around her waist. All the way there, she was asking me if I thought she was fat. I told her no. She wasn't skinny, she was normal, built like women were in the 1950s and early 60s, trim but not necessarily toned. I didn't even get to the part about her torpedoes.

A ways down the road we came upon what appeared to be a garage sale along the road. She stopped the scooter and a man stood in front of the bike. He was a tall, clean-shaven and balding, but with that 5 o'clock shadow that showed he could grow a great beard. He wore a pair of leather pants, no shirt, and a thin white robe that was open in the front, exposing a very furry body, big chest, and even bigger and round furry tummy. The last bit was so big and round, the went over the edge of the pants. I admit I was a bit turned on.

He acted like he was a member of some cult, inviting us to stay. He came around the back of the bike and wrapped his arms around both of us. His tummy was so furry I could feel the hair through my shirt as he pressed against me. He was kidnapping us. He took us into the house where his buddy, a skinny, greasy guy was attacked me while the bear took the lady into another room. I managed to get free from the skinny guy who then took a swing at me. I gave him a swift jab directly to his nose and he went down in tears.

I ran to the room where the furry guy had taken the girl and found him closing the lid of a very large, round topped wooden chest. His leather pants and robe was on the floor. He had changed into regular street clothes. When I pointed it out, he claimed he had to go to work. Just as he moved forward towards me, his skinny buddy came in. I pushed the one into the other and grabbed a rope or belt from the floor. When I swung it at them, they both grabbed hold of it.

Now here, it gets a bit superhero-ish. I pulled the belt back and they both held on. I started spinning, pulling them around and around, building up great momentum, until I let go and threw them both through a window nearby. Knowing others were coming soon, I raced for the chest to let the woman out, but when I opened the chest, it was full of clothes. I kept digging and digging through what seemed to be a bottomless chest and never found her.

At this point, I woke up.