Personal Funnies of the Week

I've always said that if you can laugh at yourself, you're doing fine. Here are two instances where I've made a bit of a fool of myself.

All Eyes On Me

Last Friday, I went to "Bear Soup," a pool party at the local Adonis club. It was a good turn out with over a dozen bears in the water as I walked up. Carrying my bear flag towel and a bag with my trunks in them, I walked over to a lounge chair to set them down. As I walked along the pool, I noticed that a lot of the guys were staring at me.

"Wow," I thought, "my workouts must be doing some good. I think the guys are checking me out."

I was feeling pretty good. After I sat my stuff down and was getting ready to go change, one of the guys in the pool finally spoke up.

"Hey," David said, "we all want to know where you got that bear flag towel!"

... F#@%!....

Kiss & Tell

So yesterday, I'm at work and mailing out a letter to a company. With the enclosure and such, I put it in a large document envelope. I walked up to my secretary's counter where she sat with one of the newer employees, a young lady who has a great sense of humor.

I licked the envelope and made a face because the glue tasted awful. My secretary said, "You know, you could just tape it shut..."

"Good to know," I replied, "because I just French-kissed this envelope and I can guarantee that it wont call me tomorrow!"

The young lady cracked up as the laugh she needed during the day.

Today, she saw me in the hallway, started laughing, and asked if the envelope had called.