Random Fun Moments from Today

Just the odds and ends that made me giggle today.

1. While eating lunch at Applebee's today, I was waited on by a young lady named Kristen, a naturally attractive young lady with dark short, curly hair and a raspy voice designed for phone sex operators. She said to me, "Hi, my name is Kristen and I'll be taking care of you today. I'm in training... so... bear with me... " Happily, lunch went off without a hitch.
   
2. "Moist" has been redefined. When I was asked if my hometown was "wet" (i.e. sells alcohol), I replied that it is served only in restaurants, but not sold in liquor or grocery stores. The questioner then stated, "oh, so it's 'moist.'"
   
3. I was talking with a young lady today who claims to be a very poor cook. She said she could bake potatoes. I told her that she probably can make mashed potatoes then.
   -- She replied, "how do you mash them?"
   -- I said, "With a mixer or a potato masher."
   -- She asked, "What's a potato masher?"
   
4. On the Berea College campus, you never were accused of being drunk as the campus security guys did not have a breatholizer (sp?), so you were often cited for "internal possession" of alcohol. True story...

Cincinnati Mens Chorus and Muse: Hand in Hand

Tonight I went to see the The Cincinnati Mens Chorus kick off their season with their "Hand in Hand" concert, with guest performers, MUSE: Cincinnati's Women's Choir.

The guys started things off the first set. My personal favorite (other than seeing LJ's favorite cincycub as a soloist -- you have such a great voice) was the song "Middle Child," a tribute to the underloved, underappreciated Jan Brady. It was hilarious. There was a bit of drama in the audience where I was sitting during this half of the concert, but it's worthy of its own entry.

The ladies of MUSE started off the second half of the concert. Clad in various black and turquoise outfits, they looked wonderful and sounded even better. My favorite song of their turn was "Hattie and Mattie," a toe-tapping, humorous song about two sweet little old ladies in love.

The chorus and the choir came together for the final three songs, ending with a very powerful performance of "The Battle of Jericho." I'd love to have that one on CD. The concert's second performance is 7:07 PM this Sunday at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Museum in Cincinnati for those who would like the chance to catch it.

I need to suggest to Brian that maybe they could have a concert of just humorous songs (they tend to be my favorite). Just a thought :)

Drama in the Concert Aisle

I got to the Freedom Center early for the CMC concert and found a seat at the end of an aisle for ease of leaving if needed. Right before the concert began, a married couple came up to my row looking for two seats together. They asked the guy sitting one seat over from me if he'd move one more down so they'd have two together.

"There just aren't any seats together," Mrs. Rude-Inconsiderate-Pain-In-The-A$$ (RIPITA) said.

Well, if you didn't get to the concert two minutes before it started, maybe you could have, I thought. Only an idiot expects to find such things at the last minute.

So Mr. and Mrs. RIPITA pop down next to me. The concert begins and in the second song, they get a call on their mutual cell phone. So Mr. RIPITA gets up and I get up to let him out. A few minutes later we repeat the dance in reverse to let him in again. During the next song, Mrs. RIPITA decides it's her turn to take the call and I let her out and back in. Figuring this is my lot in life, as I attract these kinds of people at movie theaters, I bite my tongue and just let them go. We repeat his exchange with him .. then her... one more time.

During the last song of the half, Mr. RIPITA starts talking on his cell phone and isn't even bothering to get up this time. Finally, the gray bearded bear behind me taps him on his shoulder and asks politely if he could put his cell phone away during the concert. Mr. RIPITA looks at him and says "no, I can't." Now I'm getting pissed off as this @$$hole and his hag have disrupted nearly every song performed so far for me. Mr. RIPITA stands up and I stand to let him out AGAIN.

"I'm sorry," he said to me.
"So am I..." I replied in a deadpan voice.
"That's it," he said angrily, "Get your stuff, we're leaving," motioning to his wife.

The wife grabs her purse and jacket and the two of them march out. I rolled my eyes. Leave the drama to the queens, I wish I had told them, as it's best done by professionals.

During intermission, I thanked the guy behind me for speaking up. The guy sitting on their other side was thankful too. Obviously, they were annoying everyone around them. If the RIPITAs can't be disconnected from their world for two hours to enjoy a concert, then they shouldn't have come in the first place.