Weekly World News

While shopping this weekend, I found myself looking at the usual tabloid mess while the teenager at the register tried to ring people up while screaming that it was time for his break. I came across the latest "Weekly World News," and almost started chuckling out loud at the bizarre headlines. I just had to break down and buy it, if only to keep up with the MIB goings on. Here are a sampling of the headlines on the cover and inside:

100-Year-Old Woman is Pregnant! .. and the father is 91
... three cheers for Viagra!!!

Hot Panties! Psychic can Make Women's Undies Catch Fire!
... and it's a female psychic.. I'm sure she's exacting revenge on those damn skinny supermodels and chipper aerobic instructors!

Dick Cheney's Cellulite Nightmare
... is anyone really surprised here?... and the pictures.. ewww...!

Drunk Surgeon Switches Man's Nose & Wee-Wee
... Yes, it really says "Wee-Wee." I'm sure he's a hit at parties. If he ever gets an erection in the rain, he could drown.

Colony of Super-Evolved Microbes Has Tiny Kingdom in Ted Kennedy's Butt
... Didn't I see this on an episode of Futurama? And why Ted Kennedy??

Hottest New Vacation Spot -- Hell!
... Or as we call it, Washington, DC!

Giant Plant Gobbles Gal
... Well, from the pictures, it's what she deserves standing so close to it in a white bikini.

These Songs Can Turn You Gay
... Yep, all the favorites are on it -- "Dancing Queen," "Over the Rainbow," and anything by the Village People.

Naked Friday
... Solves the problem of what to wear to the office on Fridays :)