Tough situation... I understand how you feel. I've been friends with some homophobic people and it just kills me that they say such things about it being gross when, to me, it's totally natural and only a small part of one's individuality and I have gay, lesbian, and bi friends and I'm bisexual myself so... it hurts. You need to try to see passed the words the person is saying to the person themselves. I always like to assume that anyone who would say "gross" to such a common, natural thing apparently doesn't know many "gross" people at all... Or they do and they just do not realize it.
If I were you, the next time they make an anti-gay comment, I'd say something like, "Do you know any gay people? You probably do and you just don't realize it. I must admit, hearing you say that about gay people hurts my feelings a little because some of my friends are gay and they are some of the nicest people you could ever have the pleasure of knowing." Or, keep it shorter, by saying something like, "I think gay people are cool because they put up with a lot of discrimination and still manage to lead somewhat happy lives dispite the many people who view them negatively and some of my friends are gay," or, "There are more gay people in the world than you think. In fact, you probably know many and don't realize it," or, just simply, "Well, some of my friends are gay and I think they're great people to know." You get the idea. (sorry, I forgot to caution you, I tend to ramble sometimes LOL)
Just be yourself, think over how you want to react to the comments they make, and before you know it you might come out to them simply because they're your friends, not because of what they say due to ignorance or misunderstanding. When it comes to them trying to set you up with women, just simply explain to them that you're not ready for a realtionship right now or you're not ready to date at the present time. I'm sure that'll hold them off for a while.
Always remember, your sexuality is only a small part of who you are. There are many other things about your personality that are just as small and everything about your individuality is important for, together, it makes up who you truly are... and you're a great guy to know!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 07:26 pm (UTC)If I were you, the next time they make an anti-gay comment, I'd say something like, "Do you know any gay people? You probably do and you just don't realize it. I must admit, hearing you say that about gay people hurts my feelings a little because some of my friends are gay and they are some of the nicest people you could ever have the pleasure of knowing." Or, keep it shorter, by saying something like, "I think gay people are cool because they put up with a lot of discrimination and still manage to lead somewhat happy lives dispite the many people who view them negatively and some of my friends are gay," or, "There are more gay people in the world than you think. In fact, you probably know many and don't realize it," or, just simply, "Well, some of my friends are gay and I think they're great people to know." You get the idea. (sorry, I forgot to caution you, I tend to ramble sometimes LOL)
Just be yourself, think over how you want to react to the comments they make, and before you know it you might come out to them simply because they're your friends, not because of what they say due to ignorance or misunderstanding. When it comes to them trying to set you up with women, just simply explain to them that you're not ready for a realtionship right now or you're not ready to date at the present time. I'm sure that'll hold them off for a while.
Always remember, your sexuality is only a small part of who you are. There are many other things about your personality that are just as small and everything about your individuality is important for, together, it makes up who you truly are... and you're a great guy to know!
*hugs*