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The Spanking Question
Dec. 11th, 2018 09:26 pmNo, not that kind of spanking...
When I was home last, I was sitting with Mom, who has started living more and more in the past. She was watching "Gunsmoke," an episode where Matt Dillon was trying to get some rest but was being constantly disturbed by others, including a juvenile delinquent who he ended up spanking. Mom asked me if she and my dad overdid it with the spanking.
It's a funny question because spanking was really the only punishment they doled out. I rarely gave them reason, my sister got less physical punishment because she was a girl, and my brother got the brunt because he was easily the most disobedient kid. While I don't necessarily disagree with a spanking, it's effectiveness is severely limited. My brother was so accustomed to it that it no longer bothered him. The spanking was an immediate punishment with no real aftermath, so he was free to do whatever he wanted to do after a very brief cooldown period.
The mistake my parents made in our punishments was that they lacked any psychological component or follow-up consequence. Spanking was easy and quick, a lazy punishment that really didn't correct the problem. Looking at it through an adult viewpoint, they really sucked at this.
Now, if they really wanted to punish my brother, they would have grounded him. The twin loved being outside and hanging out with his friends, which is why he was never within the neighborhood boundaries our parents set up when he was yelled for. If they had grounded him, blocked him from his social outlets, it would have absolutely destroyed him. This would have involved my parents not backing off and sticking to their guns, but the effect would have been profound on the twin I think. He'd have toed the line far more I think.
Conversely, the grounding would likely have destroyed me too, because the twin would have been pestering the $#!+ out of me who spent most my time indoors reading comic books and drawing. While I wouldn't have enjoyed it, I think I'd have lived with it to see the twin really catch it once for his misbehaving.
When I was home last, I was sitting with Mom, who has started living more and more in the past. She was watching "Gunsmoke," an episode where Matt Dillon was trying to get some rest but was being constantly disturbed by others, including a juvenile delinquent who he ended up spanking. Mom asked me if she and my dad overdid it with the spanking.
It's a funny question because spanking was really the only punishment they doled out. I rarely gave them reason, my sister got less physical punishment because she was a girl, and my brother got the brunt because he was easily the most disobedient kid. While I don't necessarily disagree with a spanking, it's effectiveness is severely limited. My brother was so accustomed to it that it no longer bothered him. The spanking was an immediate punishment with no real aftermath, so he was free to do whatever he wanted to do after a very brief cooldown period.
The mistake my parents made in our punishments was that they lacked any psychological component or follow-up consequence. Spanking was easy and quick, a lazy punishment that really didn't correct the problem. Looking at it through an adult viewpoint, they really sucked at this.
Now, if they really wanted to punish my brother, they would have grounded him. The twin loved being outside and hanging out with his friends, which is why he was never within the neighborhood boundaries our parents set up when he was yelled for. If they had grounded him, blocked him from his social outlets, it would have absolutely destroyed him. This would have involved my parents not backing off and sticking to their guns, but the effect would have been profound on the twin I think. He'd have toed the line far more I think.
Conversely, the grounding would likely have destroyed me too, because the twin would have been pestering the $#!+ out of me who spent most my time indoors reading comic books and drawing. While I wouldn't have enjoyed it, I think I'd have lived with it to see the twin really catch it once for his misbehaving.
