End of the Softball Season

I'm always sad to see softball season end, especially since there is so much warm weather left and I feel like playing more. Oh well, there is always next year.

We had a double-header last night that could have easily turned into a triple-header. We were in a double-elimination tournament. My team had already lost a game.

The first game was a great one, we won by six or seven runs, including some decent hits by yours truly. My usual screw-up came in the form of runner interference where I danced around a grounder on my sprint from first to second, getting in the way of the first baseman. I've heard the dancing was impressive, but I promise it was unintentional. So the ump called me out, but not because I didn't have good moves.

The second game was against a team we've beaten before, but they've also beaten us, so it was a flip to see who would win. Okay, at first. We lost by 13 runs. If we had won, we'd have had to play the same team for another game as it would have been their first loss. My team was tired and cranky and not looking forward to playing a third game. We obviously didn't throw the game on purpose, but we were running out of juice and it was very apparent. Still, we had fun with it. My last time at bat, I got walked. I could have swung at it, but I didn't want to have the last out of the season and the next guy up really wanted to bat. So he hit the ball and I was tagged out at second. C'est la vie.

This morning, I'm paying for the double-header with aches in places I often forget about. Did I mention I'm nearly 40? Not sure there is a correlation, but...

The CAT Test

I saw this in the "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" years ago when I was in college. I thought it was a pretty witty test, using a cat to determine the psychological stability of a child. On a lark, I looked it up and actually found the text of it online.

THE CAT TEST

To accurately identify emotionally disturbed individuals, Foster, Algozinne and Kamffman (A Practical Approach to Personality Testing at the Grade Level, the Cat Test, Journal of Irreproducible Results, in press) developed this test for professionals, parents and aides.

It involves three simple steps:

1. place testee in empty room facing far wall
2. place cat in centre of room, close and latch door and
3. after 10 minutes open the door .

Foster et al note that the cat test allows fine discriminations between subsets of emotional disturbance. They offer the following guidelines for

• OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE -four neat, meticulous piles of fur to be found in the corners of the room -cat alive but cold
  
  
• SOCIALISED DELINQUENT -fur scattered randomly about room and on testee -cat alive but still cold
  
  
• MANIC/DEPRESSIVE -Manic state: pieces of cat scattered randomly around room -cat terminated. Depressive state: pieces of testee scattered randomly around room -emotional stability of cat suspect .
  
  
• PARANOID REACTION -testee cowering in far corner of room -cat alive and sleeping in centre of room
  
  
• SCHIZOPHRENIC REACTION -testee in centre of room carrying on long existential conversation with cat -cat alive but confused
  
  
• NEUROTIC REACTION -testee asking cat for advice about migraine headache -cat alive and still confused
  
  
• CATATONIC REACTION -testee in corner of room with back arched, hair on end, hissing and refusing to acknowledge presence of cat -cat alive, confused and sexually aroused.

What I found was missing a few pieces, like how to obtain the cat, which if memory serves was to go to the local humane society location or from your neighbor's yard with a saucer of milk.