Dec. 15th, 2010

kybearfuzz: (Question Mark)
Over the weekend, I watched Audrey Rose on DVD. The 1977 movie deals with a family with a young daughter named Ivy who has horrible nightmares around her birthday each year. A mysterious man begins to stalk the family only to reveal later that he believes that Ivy is the reincarnation of his daughter Audrey Rose who died years before on Ivy's birthday. The movie is okay, not spectacular, and the young girl who plays Ivy is not the greatest actress in the world. Granted she was only 11 or so, but some scenes made me cringe... like a singer hitting a bad note.

However, the movie did make me think. What if reincarnation is real? I don't deny the possibility, as I cannot prove or disprove it. In the past, I have had psychics at fairs, renaissance festivals, etc. tell me that I am an old soul, that this isn't my first time around the block in this thing called life. I'm sure this is the usual line they throw to people who look or act a specific way, but in many ways I've always felt far older than I am.

While my siblings enjoyed the goofy social aspects of junior high and high school, the dances, the ball games, etc., I always felt socially awkward and I never understood how these things were fun. As a kid, I always felt drawn to people older than me, and I don't mean that in terms of dating, but socially. Responsiblity seemed to set in early for me, in stark contrast to the twin who seemed to want to hang on to the freedoms that came with being a kid. I was a "fuddyduddy," a 30-something in the body of the misfit teen.

If we are going round and round, trying one life then another, then I wonder how the past ones influence the current. Perhaps in a past time, I was a young maiden who was rescued by a burly bearded knight, and I'm trying to find him again. Maybe I was an arrogant artist in France, and now I accept that drawing should have been more for pleasure. Maybe I was a peasant, eating dirt clods and raising a gaggle of screaming kids, and I'm reaping the rewards by not eating dirt and raising a pair of spoiled housecats now.

And then what of the life or lives yet to come? Ah, the stuff my mind ponders...

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