A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to..

..Meijer. After buying some new clothes at Kohl's, I decided to swing by Meijer to pick up some socks and things before the trip.

As I'm stopping at the crosswalk in front of the store, letting people pass, I hear a car door slam to my right and turn to see a white car parked in the no parking zone. This girl is getting out of the car, she's got blonde hair put into two ponytails, wearing funky glasses, and wearing what looks like a white swimsuit top and shorts. She's incredibly pale, making it hard to figure where she was covered and where she wasn't. She looked like an albino on her way to a KY hoe-down.

What really grabbed my attention was the fact she had her leg up slightly while she dug her underwear out of her butt... right there where everyone could see on the side of the parking lot. I saw all of this in seconds after the car door slam noise. She turned around and saw me, figuring I was ogling versus looking surprised, and yelled in snarky way, "Do I have nice ass!?"

Channeling my inner bitch, I yelled out "Hell, no!" and drove through the crosswalk.