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Dear Prudence....
Dec. 4th, 2003 07:46 amI have to admit a weakness here. I love to read advice columns -- Dear Abby, Ann Landers (reprints sadly), Annie's Mailbox, any of them. I read this letter in "Dear Prudence," which is a column by Ann Landers' daughter. This one is for the people with the homophobic relatives. Nothing really new, but it's nice to hear the response every now and then.
"Prudie: I just got in a huge fight with my husband about a topic that is emotionally loaded. My question: Is homosexuality a learned trait, or is it in a person's genes?
I think that whether a person is homo- or heterosexual is something they feel inside, not something taught or learned. My husband feels that it all depends on the parents and what they taught their children. He thinks being gay is NOT right and the parents are to blame for the child's incorrect upbringing. He feels that God did not intend for his children to have homosexual relations, but I feel that God did not intend for his children to steal, lie, kill or be unfaithful -- but it happens.
He says if a son of his were gay, he would "kick his butt until he knew better." What do I do to help him get past his prejudiced feelings? -- Broad-Minded
Dear Broad: You might try putting a fence around the neighborhood so your spouse doesn't fall off the flat earth. If homosexuality could be learned, my dear, a veritable army of women recovering from troublesome, disappointing men would surely sign up for the course.
And why in the world would a parent steer a child to homosexuality anyway? It is most often a harder life, growing up, than straight kids have. You have read it here before, and you will read it here again: Homosexuality is hard-wired. It is an instinctual thing, much the same as having a sweet tooth (or not) or natural musical ability.
As for what you can do to enlighten your live-in bigot, the answer is probably nothing. People who believe what your husband believes are dismissive of science, statistics, clinical data and logic. In simple language, sexual preference is gonna be what it's gonna be.
And for the record, the homophobes who voice your husband's declaration about how they would deal with a gay child are contemptible. That stance, to be frank, is what is unnatural. -- Prudie, genetically"
"Prudie: I just got in a huge fight with my husband about a topic that is emotionally loaded. My question: Is homosexuality a learned trait, or is it in a person's genes?
I think that whether a person is homo- or heterosexual is something they feel inside, not something taught or learned. My husband feels that it all depends on the parents and what they taught their children. He thinks being gay is NOT right and the parents are to blame for the child's incorrect upbringing. He feels that God did not intend for his children to have homosexual relations, but I feel that God did not intend for his children to steal, lie, kill or be unfaithful -- but it happens.
He says if a son of his were gay, he would "kick his butt until he knew better." What do I do to help him get past his prejudiced feelings? -- Broad-Minded
Dear Broad: You might try putting a fence around the neighborhood so your spouse doesn't fall off the flat earth. If homosexuality could be learned, my dear, a veritable army of women recovering from troublesome, disappointing men would surely sign up for the course.
And why in the world would a parent steer a child to homosexuality anyway? It is most often a harder life, growing up, than straight kids have. You have read it here before, and you will read it here again: Homosexuality is hard-wired. It is an instinctual thing, much the same as having a sweet tooth (or not) or natural musical ability.
As for what you can do to enlighten your live-in bigot, the answer is probably nothing. People who believe what your husband believes are dismissive of science, statistics, clinical data and logic. In simple language, sexual preference is gonna be what it's gonna be.
And for the record, the homophobes who voice your husband's declaration about how they would deal with a gay child are contemptible. That stance, to be frank, is what is unnatural. -- Prudie, genetically"
