kybearfuzz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kybearfuzz) wrote2015-01-14 10:53 pm
kybearfuzz) wrote2015-01-14 10:53 pm
Entry tags:
Twelve
This month marks my twelfth anniversary of coming out of the closet. In many ways I'd thought certain things in my life would have developed by now, but other things have exceeded my expectations and some unexpected things have been grand surprises.
This year I thought I would write about something that quickly became a constant after coming out and that would be my online presence. I can't imagine how coming out would have been if the internet had not been available. I often wonder if I would have come out earlier in my life if the internet had been so developed during my college years. Having access to so many gay-related things online gave me the ability to explore and research things in a safe way without any significant risk. Don't get me wrong, I did a fair amount of looking around online when I was in the closet, but it bolstered my courage when I finally felt the time was right.
Silly as it may sound, one of the first things I gave myself as a gift was a paid profile on Bear411. It was a safe social outlet while I was still getting my feet wet in the local gay bar scene. It was fun chatting to guys both local and far away, including the handsome fellers overseas. In fact, one of guys I still chat with is a Canadian bear who was then at university in Germany. One day he was lamenting that it was difficult to get peanut butter. So, as a gift, I sent him four jars of peanut butter in the mail. We've been friends ever since and I have yet to meet him in person. That's something I hope to remedy this summer.
The year of 2003 was also the year I started Livejournal. I was preparing to take my first trip overseas for work and another online friend suggested that I start this journal to document the experience. So I did. Not only was this a place to document my domestic and overseas trips, but also my thoughts, my cartoons, and my experiences. It's also a place I made and continue to make good friends, including those that still read this and those who have had closed up shop on their journals. Before most everyone jumped ship, I bought a permanent account, so I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Of course, the next evolution of meeting people was Facebook. I was hesitant to join it at first. I didn't like the idea that my gay life was going to be so public, but I then realized that that "public" was the point of "being out." Facebook has its good points, I admit, but I could never write something like this entry on Facebook. Facebook is like reading the headlines of a newspaper. Livejournal allows for reading the details of the story. It's one of the reasons why I'll keep my journal going.
Of course, Bear411 has changed to and there are other options available now. iPhone apps like "Growlr" and "Mister" are out there and it allows for chatting with handsome bears from all over at the touch of a icon.
Oh, how far we've come. How far we will go. I admit that I'm happy to have come out in such a time.
This year I thought I would write about something that quickly became a constant after coming out and that would be my online presence. I can't imagine how coming out would have been if the internet had not been available. I often wonder if I would have come out earlier in my life if the internet had been so developed during my college years. Having access to so many gay-related things online gave me the ability to explore and research things in a safe way without any significant risk. Don't get me wrong, I did a fair amount of looking around online when I was in the closet, but it bolstered my courage when I finally felt the time was right.
Silly as it may sound, one of the first things I gave myself as a gift was a paid profile on Bear411. It was a safe social outlet while I was still getting my feet wet in the local gay bar scene. It was fun chatting to guys both local and far away, including the handsome fellers overseas. In fact, one of guys I still chat with is a Canadian bear who was then at university in Germany. One day he was lamenting that it was difficult to get peanut butter. So, as a gift, I sent him four jars of peanut butter in the mail. We've been friends ever since and I have yet to meet him in person. That's something I hope to remedy this summer.
The year of 2003 was also the year I started Livejournal. I was preparing to take my first trip overseas for work and another online friend suggested that I start this journal to document the experience. So I did. Not only was this a place to document my domestic and overseas trips, but also my thoughts, my cartoons, and my experiences. It's also a place I made and continue to make good friends, including those that still read this and those who have had closed up shop on their journals. Before most everyone jumped ship, I bought a permanent account, so I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Of course, the next evolution of meeting people was Facebook. I was hesitant to join it at first. I didn't like the idea that my gay life was going to be so public, but I then realized that that "public" was the point of "being out." Facebook has its good points, I admit, but I could never write something like this entry on Facebook. Facebook is like reading the headlines of a newspaper. Livejournal allows for reading the details of the story. It's one of the reasons why I'll keep my journal going.
Of course, Bear411 has changed to and there are other options available now. iPhone apps like "Growlr" and "Mister" are out there and it allows for chatting with handsome bears from all over at the touch of a icon.
Oh, how far we've come. How far we will go. I admit that I'm happy to have come out in such a time.
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It would have helped immensely!
This was the three year period where I went from finally admitting to myself that I am gay to going to the gay bars and dating. Oh, well, I got from A to B, so, it was all good.
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I deleted my Facebook profile over two years ago. I do think it has its uses, but is a totally different beast to LJ. My mother always taught me not to wash my dirty laundry in public - which is partly why I don't post anything really personal here. When I hear of some of the car crashes on FB...
Happy anniversary!
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In any case, I'm very glad you came out, found LJ, and are a part of my life :)
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I'm really glad you got online when you did
:-)
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I feel the same way. I came out on 'net, and some of the guys I met in Rochester were actually introduced to me be someone in an AOL M4M chat room from California. Those Rochester guys are still good friends and they're the way I met the folks who comprise my logical family in Rochester.
But it was a online (and later offline) friend (LJ user sparkygearhead), who was instrumental in helping me navigate coming out back in those .
I owe the internet a lot. ;-)