The CAT Test

[kybearfuzz]

I saw this in the "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" years ago when I was in college. I thought it was a pretty witty test, using a cat to determine the psychological stability of a child. On a lark, I looked it up and actually found the text of it online.

THE CAT TEST

To accurately identify emotionally disturbed individuals, Foster, Algozinne and Kamffman (A Practical Approach to Personality Testing at the Grade Level, the Cat Test, Journal of Irreproducible Results, in press) developed this test for professionals, parents and aides.

It involves three simple steps:

1. place testee in empty room facing far wall
2. place cat in centre of room, close and latch door and
3. after 10 minutes open the door .

Foster et al note that the cat test allows fine discriminations between subsets of emotional disturbance. They offer the following guidelines for

• OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE -four neat, meticulous piles of fur to be found in the corners of the room -cat alive but cold
  
  
• SOCIALISED DELINQUENT -fur scattered randomly about room and on testee -cat alive but still cold
  
  
• MANIC/DEPRESSIVE -Manic state: pieces of cat scattered randomly around room -cat terminated. Depressive state: pieces of testee scattered randomly around room -emotional stability of cat suspect .
  
  
• PARANOID REACTION -testee cowering in far corner of room -cat alive and sleeping in centre of room
  
  
• SCHIZOPHRENIC REACTION -testee in centre of room carrying on long existential conversation with cat -cat alive but confused
  
  
• NEUROTIC REACTION -testee asking cat for advice about migraine headache -cat alive and still confused
  
  
• CATATONIC REACTION -testee in corner of room with back arched, hair on end, hissing and refusing to acknowledge presence of cat -cat alive, confused and sexually aroused.

What I found was missing a few pieces, like how to obtain the cat, which if memory serves was to go to the local humane society location or from your neighbor's yard with a saucer of milk.

Comments

[designerotter.livejournal.com]

Very amusing (but I wouldn't try this at home).
BTW, love your incensed caramel cat icon ...always makes me laugh!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Oh I love that icon! It just exudes the right emotion at times. :)

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

Now THAT is seriouly wierd!

And no, I won't be volunteering Charlie for any of that.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

LOL... as a parody of a science study, it's funny, but I'd never put mah kittehs in such a predicament either. :)

[putzmeisterbear.livejournal.com]

But what if I'm allergic?

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

I'm sure puppies and/or hamsters could be used in a pinch.

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

I loved JIR!
When I was in grad school the medical library had it in the stacks. After I graduated, I got myself a subscription!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Oh I loved reading JIR while in college. I may have to get a subscription now. It's not really expensive ;)

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I think JIR is no more.
It's been replaced by the Annals of Improbably Research (AIR)

http://www.improbable.com/

There was some drama several years ago over JIR. It went away, and was replaced by AIR.

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

I just looked JIR up--AIR split off of it, and JIR is supposedly still around, but it may not be published at the moment.