Nine Years Out of the Closet

[kybearfuzz]

There was a day nine years ago this month that I looked in the mirror and admitted to myself that I was gay. It's hard to believe it took so long and so much effort to say such a thing, but it was. After that, it got easier to say. I wish I could recall the exact date, but oddly that date got lost in the excitement of things.


Nine Years and Many More to Go
"Born Gay" shirt by chrisglass

Yesterday, I was talking to a coworker and friend. She told me that during lunch her boss had remarked that it took her a long time to "figure Mark out." They were talking about past employees and had somehow come to employees they knew or suspected was gay. She said she wasn't derogatory about it, but just curious.

I'm not upset by this. Realistically, I have worked in this office for years. Most people are curious enough of everyone's lives that they realize they've never heard me talk of a girlfriend or a wife. At my age, I think it's natural for people to wonder if maybe getting married to a woman isn't really my thing. So "figuring Mark out" shouldn't be difficult to folks who pay a bit of attention.

One of the great perks of being out is doing things that I would likely never have done while in the closet (And I ain't just talking about the secks). Friday night, I'm going to see Miss Magnolia Beaumont Goes to Provincetown, a play about the spirit of a southern debutante finding herself trapped in the body of the thirty-year-old gay man on his way to Provincetown, Massachusetts for a birthday vacation. Someday, I'll hope to visit Provincetown... sans the possession by a Southern belle.

Luckily I'm one of those already. :)

Comments

[madknits.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! Here's to many more years of being out and gay! What could be better?

EDIT:
While P-town is not my favourite place in the whole world (a town dedicated to accessorising), I'd be delighted to play host and tour guide. Get yer arse out to Boston, handsome.

[epinoid.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary!

Pointing out a silly coincidence - Martin MooseyCat was born sometime this month nine years ago too. Don't know the exact date because he was dumped at a farm when he was around three months old. I can't believe nine years have gone by.

[arktos62.livejournal.com]

We wouldn't have you any other gay. Er, way. Well, you know.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Terrific photo! Very handsome on that red shirt! I am so glad that you're "family"!!

HUGS!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

I agree! What could be better??

Many a friend has told me to come to P-Town, including a coworker, so it would be fun to see it. Boston is very intriguing too though :)

[texwriterbear.livejournal.com]

First of all - Happy Anniversary!!

Second - where do I get a shirt like that?

Third - what's wrong with having a Southern belle on your arm? ;-)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

And I think such kitties are great pets. Time does go by quickly.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

LOL... thanks!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Big hugs, Neil! Thanks so much :)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

First -- Thanks furry bear! I hope you're doing well.

Second -- I looked on Chris' website and the shirt isn't listed. Send me an email with your size and I'll grab you one next time he has a booth up.

Third -- I was talking about being possessed by the spirit of a Southern belle. I'd rather not have one ON my arm, she'd probably be gnawing on it like some crazed drunk Lesbian I know. :D

[notmypresident.livejournal.com]

Oh, Sweetie --

Just the fact that you color coordinate your shirts is proof enough that you bat for our team!

[spatts5.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary Mark. Admitting to myself I was gay was the hardest thing for me. Saying it out loud wasn't easy at first either. Although I'm still not comfortable advertising my "gayness" (at least not on purpose), if someone asks, I have no problem saying "Yes,I'm gay".

[champdaddy.livejournal.com]

Congrats!

[dendren.livejournal.com]

congrats Mark, you certainly have accepted and adjusted well... I can't believe you've only been out 9 years! I always forget you're still a baby gay LOL

and that play looks like a hoot. Makes me want to come out there just to see it LOL

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Heh! Somebody else commented on that. I actually rearranged the shirts for the photo, but I have to admit that I like it this way. :)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I admit that I don't advertise I'm gay (not that I obviously don't have the tee-shirt for it), but I'm not even sure it's something that needs advertising. I think asking someone if they are gay or not is viewed as an inappropriate question by most, so many wont even attempt to ask.

If asked, I'm honest and tell them. In the old days, I'd have been horrified to admit it, but I've grown very comfortable in my skin now.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks handsome :)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

LOL... how long can I hold on to "baby gay" status? I'm curious.

And the play was here during Cincinnati's Fringe Festival and was declared a favorite, so I really wanted to see it this round. I think it'll be awesome :)

[dendren.livejournal.com]

you probably can't hold the baby gay status much longer... Tho I'm at 30 years of being out so it's all baby gay to me LOL

looks like the play was in Southern California a few years back. Wish it would come to NorCal.

[martini-tim.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary, Mark! And if you go to Ptown, I will offer to be your bodyguard and keep the bad men away from you. :)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Well, you never know. The show may come back there again. :)

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

You'd guard my body?? Ooooh... I like the sounds of this...

[dendren.livejournal.com]

or I'll have to travel to Ohio again when it makes it's rounds there again :)

[cincycub.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary Mark! It's true that life gets so much better when you know who you are!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks Brian! It's great to be here!

[boobooirl.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on 9 years of being honest to yourself!

And thank you ... without that event we wouldn't have your shirtless hotness every Friday!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

As for FYFF, we need to see more of yours! I need to keep up with my gym visits to maintain such photos!

[orangecrush206.livejournal.com]

Congrats. Sounds like we came out about the same time. I'm 46 now, so I spent far too much time in the closet. But yes, it's such a relief to be who you are.

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

Oooo! Can I play one of the bad men????

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! Glad you joined us ;-)

It's been 12 years for me--although it's hard to pin down--the admission versus the action....I can't recall the moment I stepped out of the closet, all I know is that I'm glad I did.

Love that pic :)

[designerotter.livejournal.com]

Good post! ... I remember having to do exactly the same thing, mirror and all, but the year was something like 1966. I suspect a lot of gay men have been through this personal rite of passage. I'm not sure it has gotten any easier a number of generations later. But in the long run, it's life-afirming - and essential if you plan on surviving.

I sort of lucked out by choosing the profession of theatre, where our kind is hardly a rarity. Still, the first step is always self-acceptance, and that may have been the hardest thing I've ever done. Looking back though, I realize that lots of people (not necessarily friendly ones) around me knew I was gay ... the only thing that got me through was the fact that the entire society practiced strict 'don't ask, don't tell' in those days.

Love your T-shirt ...now that's something nobody saw in the 1960's ;0) Thanks for posting ...
Hugs to you, my friend.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

If you were the bad man, why in the world would I want to keep you away from me???

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks! As I settle in adulthood, I have become increasingly uncaring about who knows my orientation. It certainly is a less-stressful feeling.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's a grand party to be a part of.

You did it 12 years ago? I don't know why, but I would have guessed you had been out longer than that.

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

I often wonder how I would have handled things back in the 1960's. In my small KY town, the possibiilties makes me shudder. I'm glad you were in a profession that at least had you surrounded by at least some like-minded folks.

And the tee-shirt is one of my favorites. I should wear my "Straight Friendly" shirt next time. It's a great shade of orange.

Big hugs!!! :)

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

You and I would end up tussling with your bodyguard.

He he he he he

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

12 years.. or more. It's fuzzy. I don't recall it being a definitive thing...it was more gradual than that.

[martini-tim.livejournal.com]

Hey! Don't make me hold you both down until you behave! Or until I don't!

[kybearfuzz.livejournal.com]

Wow... I think I just got light-headed at the thought of this...

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe