It took me a long time to read this .. I lingered on the shower scene for too long I think!

Sorry to hear that you had to buy a new phone though. Neal did the same thing a few years ago but the phone actually made it into the drier. After about 10 minutes it worked its way out of his pocket and started making that expensive "thunk ... thunk" sound. The phone was boiled and then toasted, amazingly the sim card still worked even though it had warped and de-laminated!